overwhelmed

d,

I had to punish you today for something you did, and hours later I'm feeling the lingering affects myself.

It was time to come in the house. We were standing on the porch and I had picked you up, rather than let you scamper away. I wanted to give you another chance to walk into the house on your own rather than take you against your will so I offered you the choice to walk in or be carried. You leaned in and put your head against my shoulder, and I turned towards the door.

Then you bit me.

I immediately pulled you back so I could see your face. I held your little chin between my thumb and forefinger so you couldn't turn away.

I used my sternest voice to tell you that what you did was not okay, and that biting was not nice.

I laid it on thick. I meant to. You've bitten Mommy the exact same way once before. I don't want you thinking that biting people is another option in your toolbox. You are not Mike Tyson.

You looked at my eyes. You absorbed what I had to say. Then you began a shallow, rapid breathing that built and built into a wail.

While there's no doubt that the reprimand affected you, I'm not sure whether the stronger imprint was "biting is bad" or "daddy was mad". It is not my aim to rule by fear. I learned from my short time as an educator that when your highest aim is for someone to learn, you can have all the authority in the world and still hold none of the power.

I overwhelmed you today with the Fear of Angry Daddy. I don't believe that's the best way for you to learn and I hope we don't have to go down that road together too often.

I love you.

Dad