I see myself

Dylan,

People always tell me that you look just like me or that you obviously take after my side of the family. It's not too difficult to look at the blonde hair and blue eyes and see that you don't exactly look like Mommy, and traits like your skin tone are easily attributed to my mother's influence. When you were first born you reminded me of my own father, and I've since seen hints of (my) Uncle Joe, (your) Uncle Todd, and others here and there, but not myself.

Putting you to sleep the other night was the first time I'd ever really seen what's so plain to everyone else.

I was holding a peaceful, sleeping, little version of me. I was a little surprised, not by the fact but by the suddenness. By the clarity of it.

It reinforced the idea that it's my job to raise you to be a better me than I am. To lean on my strengths, sure, but also to lean on my weaknesses. And my mistakes. To use them all to guide you and to teach you and to provide for you. To get you (at least) one step closer to all that a man might be, given every tool and every opportunity.

Dad